Module 5

I work with kindergarteners in a public school and today a child called another child a “dummy head.” While this is certainly not the most offensive statement he could have said, it is not a statement that I think is acceptable. My students and I “live” across the hall from children with severe/profound disabilities. The student was frustrated with his classmate and this was his way of venting his frustration. In the future, where academics and grades are more important, it could be very upsetting for a child to be called a “dummy.” My concern, even more than what might happen in the future, was that a parent or teacher across the hall would hear the comment and not know who it was directed to. As the teacher, I viewed this as a learning opportunity and feigned offense. I was “offended” enough that I got their attention and they wanted to know what had happened. I told “David” that my feelings were very hurt by the comment because “Elijah” was my friend and I didn’t want anyone to call him a name. “David” was affected enough by my act that he came over and told me how sorry he was for saying it and that he hoped I would still like him because he didn’t mean to say it, he was “just mad.” I don’t generally make students apologize because then it’s not sincere and they’re just saying it because they have to. I told “David” that of course I still liked him and I appreciated his apology, but maybe there was someone else whose feelings were hurt. He went to “Elijah” and said he was very sorry because he didn’t think “Elijah” was a dummy head. If the situation was different and “David” had actually called one of the children across the hall a “dummy head” I would have had a more serious discussion and explained (again) that those children have different abilities than we do and different doesn’t mean bad.

Several years ago I worked in Virginia in a Head Start program. On our way to a field trip one year we passed the “Regional Correctional Center.” One of my little girls, just as happy as could be, pointed out the window and said she’d been there before. Trying to be a good preschool teacher, I asked her to repeat what she’d said, before I got worked up over a misspoken sentence. She repeated that she’d been there before. Staying calm, I asked why she had been there. She told me she’d been there on Saturday to see her dad, because he’s locked up. I listened to what she had to say about it, including all the not so nice things her mom had to say about her dad. I asked how she felt about it, if she was happy to see him, if she had missed him, etc. I listened to all she had to say and told her that I would always be here to talk to her about anything she wanted to say. I offered her the opportunity to talk to the counselor at the school and let her mom know how the visit and hurtful words about her dad had affected her daughter.